


Various Methods of Romantic Assault

by kibou



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-25
Updated: 2015-03-25
Packaged: 2018-03-19 12:57:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3610881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kibou/pseuds/kibou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>there's more than one way to knock someone out, as we all know.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Various Methods of Romantic Assault

**Author's Note:**

> listen i had to write this to counteract matsui yuusei's evils in the most recent chapter. this is spoiler free tho. but it's also horrible gay filth.

"Heey, Nagisa, we finished cleaning the class a while ago. What should we do now?"

The late afternoon sun shone through the windows of 3-C, where the two had stayed behind after school to clean. "Head home, right? Hey, while we're heading home, there's this new cafe by the train station-"

"Actually!" Nagisa broke in nervously. "I was wondering if I could try something," he shuffled nervously on the table he was sitting on.

"Back when Bitch Sensei..." He mumbled. "I took notes... I wanted to try..."

"The assassination _kiss_?"

"Y-yeah..."

"Like, you want to practice on _me_ to use it on _other people_?"

Karma felt a weird twisty feeling inside at the thought of Nagisa using that technique on others, but he sure as hell wasn't going to let it show. At least, too obviously.

"Whoa whoa, how bold! How daring!" He mocked singsongly. "Why don't you start off a little slower," he smirked. "How about, pickup lines?"

"Uh, what?" Nagisa looked so lost and confused, that it was kind of cute, Karma thought.

"You know, one liners that'll make the ladies swoon, magic words that'll sweep them off their feet, stuff like that! Essential for an assassin, you know," he chimed.

"Umm... I guess..." Nagisa turned away for a moment, preparing himself.

He took a deep breath and coughed.

"A-are you dead?"

"Wait, what."

"Because, uh, I'm looking at a angel!"

"Yeah. That sucked. Got _anything_ else?"

"I'm, I'm going to sue you!"

"Okay, what the hell is this!"

"No! You have to ask why!"

"Fine! Why!"

"Because I broke my legs when I fell for you!"

"Oh my _god_ ," Karma groaned.

The look in Nagisa's eyes was so earnest, and determined, and again, kind of cute.

"Cute, but those pickup lines were awful," Karma delivered in a deadpan voice while blushing.

"What! You're totally contradicting yourself-"

"Anyways, you're back to the planning board," said Karma nonchalantly waving him off. "Ahh, what a pain! That was all for nothing!" He whined as he slumped back into the seat he was on.

"There's still the original thing I wanted to try..." Nagisa quietly mentioned.

"Oh yeah!" Karma shot back up. "The kiss! Yeah, why not. I'd like to see you try," he laughed.

A little surprised at the sudden positive feedback, Nagisa scrambled a bit to calm himself down and prepare himself. He hopped off the table he was sitting on and faced Karma to be level with him. He went through a mental checklist of things to do to prepare for a kiss; his arms were at his sides, check. His lips were pursed, check. His eyes were closed, che-Wait. In the corner of his almost closed eye he saw a metallic glint that caused his eyes to fly wide open.

"Your PHONE?! Taking a PICTURE of me?!" He jumped to grab it out of the taller boy's hand. "What the hell! That's a new low, even for you!"

"Aw, come on, lighten up a bit! You looked so perfect, how could I not!!" The two wrestled for the phone, tumbling to the wall. "God, I wanna make this picture my lock screen, adorable little Nagis-"

Before he caught wise that he was pinned against the wall, Karma was cut short by another set of lips on top of his. One hit! He also didn't notice that he had dropped the phone on the floor. Two hits! He also didn't realize he couldn't move either, not that he tried to. Three hits! _Is this actually Nagisa?_ He thought. _I didn't realize he could do more than look cute..._ Four hits! Knock out!

Nagisa finally let go of Karma, who dropped to the ground.

"So? Did I do good?" He asked earnestly, stepping back.

"Nagisa..." Karma said while trying to sit back up straight, "You're going to be a really great assassin one day..."

"Ah... Aha... Maybe not..." He scratched his head and giggled, then extending a hand to Karma on the floor.

"Yeah... Well, how is that going to help you in your assassination against Korosensei anyways?"

"Yeah, I guess you're right... Ew!"

"So, how about that new cafe?" Grinned Karma, taking Nagisa's hand.

"Yeah! Let's go!"


End file.
